Area Liberal Scoffs At Ignorance Of Others

Portland, OR – Local resident Harold Scrottle frequently finds himself scoffing at the ignorance of those around him.  “It’s amazing,” he said, as he sat at an outside table at The Hammer & Sickle, a self-styled progressive cafe in the northeast section of town.  “Just listen to the nonsense coming out of people’s mouths.  It’s clear they only listen to Rush Limbaugh or watch Faux, I mean Fox, News,” he continued, laughing uproariously at his wordplay.  As he sipped a cup of organic, fair trade coffee that he had sweetened with organic turbinado sugar before adding soy milk, he expressed his frustration with this segment of society.  “I know these people are ignorant.  I watch and listen to a wide variety of programming to have a global perspective,” Scrottle stated, before naming his news sources as Amy Goodman, Al Jazeera, Jon Stewart, and Keith Olbermann.  Scrottle lit an American Spirit cigarette, then continued: “I mean, Limbaugh and Faux, I mean Fox, News just endlessly repeat stories that Sen. Obama is a secret Muslim and an atheist homosexual.  That is a fact.”  When asked if he had heard or seen this himself, he admitted to having never heard Limbaugh or seen Fox News, but had read all about the media outlets on either the Democrat Underground or Daily Kos website.  “When I hear these right wing, mind-numbed robots repeat their talking points on the so-called ‘War on Terror,’ I cringe at their ignorance.  But they don’t have the academic background I do,” said Scrottle, who once took a class on the Middle East while earning his associate degree in conflict resolution from the local community college.  He adjusted his beret, wiped the Che chili off of his beard, and headed for his bicycle, resigned to the ignorance he was sure to encounter on his way back to the studio apartment he shares with four roommates.

Red, White, Blue, and Black

Those of you who follow absurd racial grievances and the liberal white people who bow before them will recall all the attention given to efforts in Portland by something known as the “Office of Neighborhood Involvement” to foster greater understanding of “gentrification.”  The Oregonian hyperventilates here, and the NYT catches up a month later here.  Gentrification is the latest academic buzzword to describe when white people move to what has been historically black neighborhoods.  Longtime black residents are understandably upset when local businesses are replaced with pretentious java shops, organic grocery stores, and outdoor apparel stores, in order to serve the growing community of over-educated, condescending, vegan, emo members of the “creative class,” i.e. unemployed coffee house musicians with a trust fund.  But, hey, it’s a free country, and I imagine if blacks started to move into white neighborhoods no one is going to justify whites’ discomfort, let alone use a government office for white people to explain their uncomfortableness with this new diversity.  The reason for this post is an article in the July 29, 2009, edition of the WSJ.  Reporter Douglas Belkin tells the story of Montana, where 200,000 newcomers “are reshaping the way this state looks, acts–and votes.  Along the way, these new Montanans have sparked a testy culture clash and, for the first time in a generation, opened the door for a Democrat presidential nominee to win the state in November.”  A long-time resident complained that the newbies, overwhelmingly Democrat-leaning, well-educated, and not familiar with the culture of the state, are turning Bozeman into “another Aspen.”  This has altered the makeup of the state so much that the state where George Bush won by 20 points in 2004 now has Sen. Obama up 5 points.  Of course, there is no hand-wringing about a loss of culture and tradition.  Instead, we have a celebration of the possible loss of another red state and their backward ways.  As a liberty lover, private property is private property.  But it struck me that the real cultural imperialists are well-educated, upper middle class Obama voters.  They are invading minority and rural areas, replacing their tradition and culture with organic arugula and bike paths.  Diversity and tolerance, to a leftist, only work if you agree and live like them.

Terrorists In Hemp Spandex?

The bicycle extremists continue their violent rampage against innocent Americans.  The latest example of cycle rage comes from Seattle, a wealthier, more diverse version of the lunacy known as Portland, Oregon.  The AP reports that the incident ended when:

The car stopped a block down and the bicyclists surrounded the car. One biker punched the driver through an open window and another used a knife to slash the tires.

When the driver got out of the car, a male suspect struck him with an unknown object in the back of the head. The driver was taken to the hospital. His female companion was not injured.

It seems cyclists are deliberately targeting one group for their violent assaults.  This would be an example of both profiling and hate crimes, and, as we all know, those things are wrong.  When will we have a candlelight vigil for motorists?  When the term “biker gang” is mentioned, the mind does not conjure images of violent hippies wearing hemp spandex.  But then the Northwest is always on the cutting edge of leftist trends.

I should mention that a motorist insurgency has been provoked by the violent bicyclists.  A recent example:

Fat Heads

The comedians running the Oregonian’s editorial page recently opined that Multnomah County should go forward with a plan to require chain restaurants to “include calorie counts alongside regular menu items, with the number as prominently displayed as the item’s price.”  As someone who is following a low-carb diet and has lost fifty pounds this year, I would love to walk into a restaurant and have the carb counts of menu items listed, but the idea of having the government require this never crossed my mind.  I instead acted as if I were an adult responsible for myself.  I researched carbohydrate, calorie, and fat counts of food myself.  If I planned on eating at a restaurant, I would go to that establishment’s website and check nutritional information.  If I had a question about food preparation or ingredients, I would ask the wait staff.  I also consulted diet books so I knew generally what I should and shouldn’t be eating.  People aren’t overweight and eating “bad” foods because they don’t know the calorie counts.  They’re eating those calories because they taste so damn good.

Fright Rail

The Oralgroanian reported yesterday that our overlords at the Metro Council have “unanimously endorsed plans to extend light rail from Portland to Milwaukie.”  Their social engineering plan includes the first bridge built across the Willamette since 1973.  According to the O, the “bridge would carry the Portland streetcar, buses, bicyclists, and pedestrians — but no cars.”  The light rail line will allow easier transportation from Portland to its last stop in the Oak Grove area of Clackamas County.  Many expressed excitement over the vote, most notably drug dealers and pimps eager to expand their territory, along with others who work so hard at keeping Portland weird.  The Metro Council was unavailable to comment on fixing the pothole on my street, but did offer me a bus schedule.

Pretty In Pink: Sam Adams demonstrates the future of motoring in the metro area.