Media Outraged Over Obama Accusations By Obama

A media firestorm erupted Wednesday night as allegations involving drug use and religion swirled around Democrat nominee Barack Obama.  The furor started when Obama claimed that Obama had smoked marijuana and used cocaine when he was younger.  Obama then went on to accuse Obama of having a Muslim stepfather and of having grown up in Indonesia, a majority Islamic country.  “In a scurrilous new attack, Sen. Obama is the victim of discredited allegations,” Campbell Brown said as she opened CNN’s Election Center.  The New York Times is expected to editorialize tomorrow morning that “these allegations have repeatedly been proven false and are just dirty politics.”  (The editorial is expected only because it hasn’t been published yet, but was already released as a statement from the Democrat National Committee.)  As a result of these allegations against Obama by Obama, Keith Olbermann is expected to name Obama the Worst Person In The World tonight, but only if he can find his last pair of adult Depends.

Other media notes . . . In unrelated news, CNN producer Harold Scrottle inadvertently forgot to add a conservative guest to the four person political panel on tonight’s Larry King Live . . . A recent survey found that 80% of the network evening news, 65% of the Newshour with Jim Lehrer, and 78% of all NPR programming is actually plagiarized from that morning’s New York Times.

In other fake news: Area Liberal Scoffs At Ignorance Of Others

Breaking News: Sen. Edwards Not Gay

Denominations In Church Of Obama

Exclusive: Transcript Of Obama’s Marriage Proposal

Foreign Student Turns Down Party Invite

Kokku Seikou, a University of California student, turned down an invitation to a rocking kegger this weekend in order to stay in his dorm room studying into the late hours.  Seikou, who studied twenty hours a day in his native Japan in order to get a scholarship to an American university, declined the chance to take jello shots with sorority sisters in order to cram for his organic chemistry final, scheduled in two months.  In between doing a beer bong and a marijuana bong, his roommate Jeff Johnson said Seikou was “a cool dude,” but “really weird, man.  He stays home every night studying.  I mean, he actually gets up before noon and goes to class.”  Seikou was not available for comment because he was preparing applications for medical school.