A Short History Of The Edwards Report

The Edwards Report blog was not always the premier site for free market economic analysis, in depth literary critiques, and fart jokes.  This blog was originally founded by Jonathan Edwards, the fiery theologian, in 1755.  At first, there were not many visitors because the Internet would not be invented by Leslie Gore for many, many years.  The original mission of the blog was to ensure the moral purity and rectitude of the land by campaigning against alcohol, tobacco, and short hemlines, a purpose that this website still seeks to uphold to this very day. 

            After Mr. Edwards’ death, the website was edited by another noted theologian, Jesse Edwards.  This blog then became known as the leading site for biblical scholarship, a reputation still intact over two hundred years later.   

            Gen. Oliver Edwards then inherited the website, but was too busy fighting the Civil War to add much content.  He was there the night they drove old Dixie down.  In fact, he is the one who took the very best from Virgil Cain.

            Author John Edwards brought a more literary spirit to the Edwards Report, but he was much better known for having NOT impregnated his mistress while his wife was battling cancer.

            The Edwards Report then went on hiatus for several years, as there were no famous Edwards’ during this time. 

            Finally, The Edwards Report was revived by Edwin Edwards, but was quickly shelfed when Edwards was elected governor of Lousiana, where he was known for bringing unprecendented levels of integrity and honesty to the office.  He plans on returning to The Edwards Report as soon as he is released from federal prison.

            A few years ago, The Edwards Report was revived by psychic John Edward, who changed the name to The Edward Report.  The current editor, Scott Edwards, was able to take back the domain name when it expired and changed the name back.  Somehow, John Edward did not see this coming.  And there you have a short history of nearly everything about the Edwards Report.  Eat your heart out, Bill Bryson.

If This Is Your First Time, Take My Hand

As Conway Twitty once sang, I can tell you’ve never been this far (on my blog) before.  There have been many new visitors to this blog in the last few days, and I want you to know it’s okay to be nervous.  To make you more comfortable, I will tell you a bit more about this site and myself.  First, I’ve had quite a few jobs before I started blogging.  I am a man of many talents, and have often been hired to teach others new skills.  I have given ski lessons to Sonny Bono, flight lessons to John Denver, locution lessons to George W. Bush, driving lessons to Ted Kennedy, and taught Hunter Thompson how to aim a gun.  I have also been involved in some things I’m not proud about: I gave Barack Obama his first line of oratory, Jerry Nadler his first doughnut, Barney Frank his first lollipop, and introduced Lindsay Lohan to some dude who is a deejay.  I was once a nude centerfold for The Nation, but I was young and needed the money.  That Katrina Vanden Heuvel is very persuasive.  I hope that let’s you know a bit more about me and my blog.  Please no jokes about this post being shorter or quicker than you expected.  Please check in to the website as often Britney Spears checks into rehab.

But enough about me.  For the history of the website, click here.

The King Of Canadian Comedy

Television Review: Corner Gas

One of the funniest television shows around was created by the king of Canadian comedy. Okay, done laughing? I know, I didn’t even know that Canada had a sense of humor until I saw Rick Moranis in Strange Brew, and that didn’t get funny until my fifth beer. Each night, on WGN America, Canadian comedian Brent Butt stars in Corner Gas, a show about how his life would have turned out had he not left his very small Canadian home town for the bright lights and big city living of Saskatchewan. (Or Ottawa or Newfoundland or whatever; I’m American so I don’t know much about Canada.) Butt’s Corner Gas (snicker) manages to be both simple and clever, original and familiar. It avoids shocking and offensive humor, instead finding laughs in a PG but still lighthearted adult manner. The show is produced in a traditional, but nowadays rarely used (at least successfully), style, but still manages the occasional postmodern turn, such as an absurd cutaway or odd pop culture reference. I would say Corner Gas is old school television: it attempts thirty minutes of witty, easy laughs, and actually delivers.  Now, maybe Canada will be known for more than hockey and . . . uh … their bacon … and, uh ….