And Now, An Important Message
Monday, Sen. John McCain, after having a spot on his face removed, said “… I want to again urge all Americans to wear sunscreen, particularly this summer, stay out of the sun as much as possible, wear sunscreen …” Late this week he is expected to remind every American of the importance of flossing every day. Earlier today Sen. Barack Obama admonished Americans to keep their tires properly inflated. In August, he will instruct all of us that not washing behind our ears is unsanitary and disappointing to all of our moms. After the conventions, both candidates are expected to unite together to educate Americans on the importance of breathing.
July 30, 2008 - Posted by Edwards Report | Election 2008, Laugher Curve | Barack Obama, inflated, John McCain, properly, sun, sunscreen, tires
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Mr. Edwards, a longtime observer of politics, Lawrence Welk reruns, and the Victoria’s Secret catalog, has a real job besides blogging about politics, pop culture, and the latest fashions from his home in the Pacific Northwest. He is a successful author who has written under the noms de plume Agatha Christie, Oscar Wilde, and Shakespeare. He thinks he's clever by making obscure pop culture references. He reads too many liberal newspapers, and thus drinks heavily. He eats raw steak and drinks Jack Daniels for breakfast. He hates children, animals, and cuddling, and is surprisingly still single. He holds a bachelors degree in political science, or as he calls it, a BS in BS. He was once hired to be a performance artist, but was fired due to having talent and a future. He is so pomo he has become ironically detached from reality. He has frequently been praised for having the racial sensitivity of Don Imus, the moral rectitude of Larry Flynt, and the communication skills of a young Helen Keller. He is in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the largest collection of Precious Moments figurines. You can contact him at edwardsreport@gmail.com.Top Posts
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I take it McCain won’t be giving any speeches on the importance of knowing how to read, at least not about how to read from a teleprompter.
I am disappointed that neither seem to be willing to address the serious issue of the need to wear clean underwear when going out, in case someone gets in an accident.