BREAKING NEWS: Obama’s Marriage Proposal
EXCLUSIVE
[MUST CREDIT EDWARDSREPORT]
The Obama campaign is furious that a transcript of Sen. Obama’s marriage proposal to Michelle was leaked to the media. The MSM refuses to publish the information, but because this website never attended Columbia Graduate School of Journalism, we know a good story when we find it!
(Begin)
Barack Obama (not on one knee, but standing, gazing defiantly into the distance): We are the husband we’ve been waiting for. I am more than your suitor, but rather I have become a symbol of the possibilities of marriage. After our first twenty years of marriage, you will look back on this moment as the time that your loneliness began to recede and your heart began to heal. This is the moment that will end divorce and secure marriage. I promise to provide you with care when you are sick and a job if you lose yours. Let there be no new walls to divide us. Now is the moment to say yes. The odds you will say yes are very good so I’ve already told my family and friends we are engaged, as well as scheduled the wedding.
(Barack Obama stops reading from teleprompter, looks down confidently to Michelle.)
(End)
August 5, 2008 - Posted by Edwards Report | Election 2008, Laugher Curve | Barack Obama, Edwards, Edwards Report, marriage, Michelle Obama, Obama's arrogance, Obama's confidence, proposal | 6 Comments
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Scott Edwards, Editor
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EXCLUSIVE: TRANSCRIPT OF OBAMA’S MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
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Mr. Edwards, a longtime observer of politics, Lawrence Welk reruns, and the Victoria’s Secret catalog, has a real job besides blogging about politics, pop culture, and the latest fashions from his home in the Pacific Northwest. He is a successful author who has written under the noms de plume Agatha Christie, Oscar Wilde, and Shakespeare. He thinks he's clever by making obscure pop culture references. He reads too many liberal newspapers, and thus drinks heavily. He eats raw steak and drinks Jack Daniels for breakfast. He hates children, animals, and cuddling, and is surprisingly still single. He holds a bachelors degree in political science, or as he calls it, a BS in BS. He was once hired to be a performance artist, but was fired due to having talent and a future. He is so pomo he has become ironically detached from reality. He has frequently been praised for having the racial sensitivity of Don Imus, the moral rectitude of Larry Flynt, and the communication skills of a young Helen Keller. He is in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the largest collection of Precious Moments figurines. You can contact him at edwardsreport@gmail.com.-
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Not as funny as The Church of Obama. It is funnier than cancer, though (and I don’t mean the benign kind that John McCain has).
You didn’t need to state that he was reading off a teleprompter. Anybody who reads this site would know that if BO ad-libbed it, the proposal would have gone something like this:
“Michelle, uh… umm… umm… uhh… will you… uhhh… ummm… NO MORE OLLIE NORTH JUSTICE! uhhhh…. ummmm…. where was I?”
Right DR. Obama is stupid. That’s why he was offered a tenure level job at a top five law school. Go back to watching American Idol and eating Doritos.
It’s still a lot less creepy than an orca of a man proposing at the RNC conference in NY.http://www.feministing.com/archives/003945.html
KC, that’s what affirmative action will get you.
For years, you whined about how “dumb” PRESIDENT Bush is, but your stammering, moron, of a candidate excels at everything.
BTW, a JD degree is EXACTLY people that don’t want to go to the effort to get a real doctorate get to be considered for jobs like teachers or law clerks.
Wow. I was expecting something funny. Try again. AGAIN! Lamer.